Nobody Flashes Anymore: While everyone has been very surprised about Scott McClellan's latest trashing of his old buddy President Bush...

There was at least one person who was not surprised. (A person who wishes to remain annyomous due to his upcoming pending book signing, called.."Snakes in the Oval Grass." )

This picture was taken right outside the Oval Office. It seems, because the door was always locked, Scott had to resort to writing a book about just how much he hated the President, when his first plan didn't work.

It also presents something we the taxpayers rarely witness---our taxes being used for something good.

Of course, I made all this up....or did I? Anyone who wishes to publish my tell-all book that I may or may not know about everyone, just contact my mail man...I promise to trash as many people as it will take to make you money.

Nobody Knows: In April of 1997, William Cohen, who was Bill Clinton's Secretary of Defense at the time, made this statement---

"Other's are engaging even an eco-type of terrorism whereby they can alter the climate, set off earthquakes, volcanoes, remotely through the use of Electro-Magnetic waves. So there are plenty of ingenious minds out there that are at work finding ways in which they can wreak terror upon other nations. It's real..."

This raises a few minor question:

Is Sharon Stone smoking again? (She said today the earthquake in China was caused by bad karma)

AND.. When it comes to countries using weather manipulation instead of conventional warfare...just who decides what to use?

If they send us a hurricane...do we send a series of tornadoes? If they send a series of F5 tornadoes, do we send two tsunami's and a flood? If they send fire, do we send droughts? I mean, who exactly is deciding the protocol of rules for waging weather wars?

Will we find an outrage some day in papers around the world saying, "The United States has caused an earthquake in Iran---we have pictures!" In the picture will be a man, naked, being forced to push a button at the HAARP station with his tongue.

AND---Why didn't Kurt Vonnegut brag more about that nerdy brother of his, Bernard Vonnegut...who helped invent silver iodide, an agent so efficient that a few pounds of it would in theory suffice to seed the entire North American sky? (According to Vanity Fair)

You could just put some of this stuff into a rain cloud and...vavooommm!

The Chinese, in 2006 launched 80,000 rockets of this stuff...Thousands of nerdy Chinese guys stand outside doing nothing but aiming guns at the sky over there. GE is just so excited.

Of course, even though William Cohen admitted it was real, you won't hear a word spoken of it anywhere...just reports on Global warming, and hey, be very scared when you're hit by that F5 coming...we have no idea what is causing the strength of these storms...just no idea.

The question is: When will Americans find out that our Pentagon also uses it, even though it's been outlawed?

Nobody Knows----In the meantime, I suggest new boots.

I also suggest we look further into lives of the mothers of Sharon Stone and the Vonnegut brothers, and find out what they were eating while they were pregnant...that's a start.

Nobody's Fool:

If you have been paying attention to the news, and saw this...the headlines could very well have read:

Obama: "Well, we have to set an example to other nations. We just can't expect to keep buying all those computers and using up all that electricity...what would that be saying to nations all over the world? We must provide an example."

Hillary: "Get rid of those e-mails!"

McCain: "Hey, who threw out that TV set! We must not litter anymore!"

Okay...

I couldn't have picked a better time to suffer from the flu...I said I'd be back...but then, it hit me. I looked up from my pillow--noticed that the world was still almost absurd to infinity, and that only a fool would get up from their death flu bed and write about it.

I'm hoping for Memorial Day...yes...no matter how I feel, if the soldiers can suffer 170 degrees of sand in a hot tank, I can certainly pay them some tribute, and get back to being my nobody opinionated self.

In the meantime, sorry to all my readers for not explaining...it's just one of those things that women do now and then when they are not feeling well... But of course, if you are a man, you know that.

At least I didn't bring up a Kennedy assasination to make myself feel better.

Only a Clinton could pull that off---only a Clinton.

Nobody Knows:---why there has been no cure for the common cold?

I'm taking the night off. Last night, my throat felt like I had swallowed a thousand small bullets of metal...like the roof of my mouth was being lazed red by a Russian Spy...thank goodness I'm a nobody, or my imagination would have taking off.

Okay, I don't need that excuse to have fun.

That waiter who kept looking at me so strange at the restaurant during Mothers Day, was really hired by the FBI to poison me for complaining the Hillary never puts the lid down. I might not live to see tomorrow.

Somewhere around two o'clock in the afternoon, the stuffy nose comes in, then the chest blows up--every part of your body hurts, including your little toe. Wait, try the rest of my foot that I dropped a four-pound package of hamburger on...two weeks ago'!It's still pounding.

You crave cherry popcylces, and there is a limited supply of Cherry. I've gone from soft Kleenix to cheap toilet paper, to napkins from the dollar store.

I wrote a piece today, but anyone who has read me for any length of time will be glad I decided NOT to finish it. It was called "Colonels in Love"...yeah...I know. Don't ask.

Hillary won in West Virginia, good reason also not to write. Simon, on American Idol, made some guy sing "Killing Me Softly" ...another reason.

My basement is flooded AGAIN---another reason. The rugs are rotting out as we speak, (okay, it's just me speaking here, I just like that phrase, sorry.) because there is no sun to dry them out in. Here in St. Louis we've had only 4 days in the last month in which it did NOT rain. There are tree limbs all over the yard...and yet, somewhere in this world there are some fools that are willing to risk their lives to climb Mt. Everest.

While they are freezing, I am going to take a hot bath, drink some hot chocolate, then settle down and watch those brave and half foolish people ( on my TV now) who think they can actually climb that huge beast.

"That was the last time I saw Rove alive."

Right now, there is a climber saying that he suffered from depression, and he found that when he drove his body hard, he felt better. In that case, not falling off the side would make anyone feel better, you don't have to be depressed.

Well, I'm NOT climbing Mt Everest's tonight. I've got an excellent excuse to do nothing, so that's what I'm going to do.

Oh, isn't this a cute picture? These two are best buddies. Life can be good, especially when you know you've only got the flu, and you know you will never have to climb Mt. Everest...

The flu I can survive, Mt. Everest on the other hand...probably not.

"The day was beautiful, there wasn't a cloud out there."

"He was last seen, climbing back up the ridge."

"The storm was coming very fast..."

"We were walking right into the storm..."

Yep, that we are---- maybe I'll sleep in my snow suit.

See you tomorrow.

Nobody's Perfect: Hey, I already miss her---Barbara Walters. It's only been a few days since she was all over the networks bragging about how she had an affair with some black senator so long ago...and no one found out about it.

As if we care.

What is amazing is that here is a woman, who had a very noticeable lisp, and yet, somehow, through sheer tenacity and lots of help from "feminists" with ties to democratic and liberal agendas, she became the most powerful women in news, and the most highly paid. A man with such a lisp would never have gotten as far.

Barbara--Bill Reilly thanks you. You blazed the way for all his beautiful nightly pundits. He is a very happy camper every night, surrounded by beautiful and intelligent maidens because of your efforts.

And who would have thought, because she just couldn't keep that old "affair" a secret any longer, instead of being remembered for her hard work, she will more than likely be remembered in history as the woman who once loved a married black man and because she did not want to ruin her career or his, she kept it a secret.

Or maybe it was because he was a...dare I say it...a Republican?

Yes, the once famous woman went from serious journalism, to tabloid fame. Her most famous interview was when all of the world watched two hours of Monica Lewinsky! We're still not sure where she hide that cigar.

And now she says that over 40 million people get their news from "The View."

It's hard getting old...

So, why did she do it? Ruin all her hard work just to be remembered for an affair with a married man? Was it because she wanted to finally let the world know that at least some man found her sexy? She lost money in Vegas?

Actually, I think it was Castro that she REALLY had the hots for...it was just not to be.

Poor Barbara...missed the prom. Can't cook, can't clean--but she has proven that even though she has been in the business longer than anyone remembers...

All she has learned is that you do not let a gay lesbian take over your own show.

Thank you Barbara, your imperfections make us all feel a little better, and you're richer for it.