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Amy Winehouse Does Have a Perfect Mole

Nobody's Perfect: Today, we found out the real reason seventeen young women in an American High School made a pack to all get pregnant at once; they wanted to be just like Amy Winehouse, who despite her name, prefers harder stuff.

Why you might ask?

As you can see from this picture, Amy loves fast food. She also loves crack. And nothing gives you the munchies faster than smoking crack, grass, uppers, downers, and then putting a fake beauty mole on the top of your lip, tatooing strange women on your armpits, and starting roach mobiles in your hair.

It also gets you very rich.

And since being very, very thin, makes you very, very popular in high school, most of those pregnant girls were probably overweight anyway...or if not thought they were, so why not get pregnant? Having a baby gives them an excuse to pig out, eat, and sit around together wondering just when Amy is going to die. There is even a website to take your bets. It's called, "When Will Amy Winehouse Die? Predict it here!"

No. I did not make that up.

And no, I will not link you. Find it yourself, you sick twisted freak, as Glenn Beck would say. (Wow, that was rough!)

But what do I know? I went on Amy's website. As a former "singer" I have to admire what she has done with her eye makeup. Her mom, must have played a lot of Petula Clark and old Cilla Black records, because she actaully can sing...well, the few lines I heard.

Which makes it that much sadder that she has an addiction to gas...no, I mean smoking crack.

Today, her doctor told her her lungs look pretty bad, she has emphysema and an irregular heart beat,---and if she continues to smoke drugs and being the all around party-hardy female Queen of Evil, she might not make it to her upcoming Birthday party for Nelson Mandela.

And Nelson, who spent all those years in prison, needs to hear the uplifting voice, of a strung out drug addict, about to keel over, young rock and roll singer.

Hey, it's his birthday, I say...go for it.

All I have left to say is the B=52's are still alive. That's all I have to say.

Amy...baby...call your mom, and can I have the mole?

 

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Purple People Eaters Eat Purple People Whiners

Nobody's Opinion: NBC’s Brain Williams recently announced to a graduating class these ominous words: “You need to fix your country.” This remark drove Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, and just about every conservative within a few feet of a public microphone so crazy, they were hyperventilating with bloated examples of our country’s great wealth.
 
Why, there is nothing wrong with America! We are just going through a “cyclic” economic cycle! Even our poor people are fat and have big TV’s! What’s wrong with you lazy, spoiled rotten baby boomers! Why--- you’re parents went through WWII, and how about that depression! You’re a bunch of whiners!
 
So said the great Rush Limbaugh today, (Okay, due to problems with "crashing" e-mail servers, "today" was last week...but it's still releveant.) until the end of his radio program, when a man said that in reality, maybe the government should step in: something is very wrong when 90 percent of the wealth is owned by 10 percent of the people.
 
Well, Rush had to leave…sorry…get to that some other day.
 
It’s an especially scary time for Republicans. We all witness the major damage they did when they got the reigns of power in 2000. The money didn’t trickle down, it trickled out.
 
 Thus, it’s hard to watch the current waves of conservative panic---and also watch Obama milk it for all it’s worth. Telling us all to “Don’t worry, be happy folks” is not helping the conservative power base one iota.
 
If they keep up this insanity, the insanity of pretending all our problems are just a small bump on the road to success, Obama will be elected, O'Reilly will have to leave the country, communism will overtake America sooner rather than later and it will be the Republicans fault.
 
After all they were the last ones standing.
 
The truth is; the majority of Americans are sick of both parties…the socialist/ communist Democrats and the big business will solve everything Republicans. We have an oligarchy of politicians fighting at the top for control of the global market, representing not the purple people out here in America, but the concerns of the big American multinational companies, who have taken away our manufacturing good paying jobs and replaced them with “service” jobs. Our political system is corrupted to the core.
 
And that’s not just a Nobody’s Opinion™. If you believe all the polling data, that’s a pretty well know fact. As Lou Dobb says, the middle class of America is being destroyed without a concern about any of the lives or the country that once was.
 
It seems the only real wealth to be made now is in stocks. And the rich have lots of stocks---Don’t you? Bill O’Reilly said that if anyone took more than 15 percent of his capital gains he was leaving the country.
 
What a whiner.
 
Let’s take Rush’s argument. So what if college is more out of the reach of most Americans now, the family unit is in deep trouble, our schools are among the worst on the planet, our food is being contaminated, and the reason our poor people are so fat is because they can only afford the cheap cereal and cheap bread in their local grocery stores, due to the fact that all manufacturing jobs are gone, and service jobs don’t pay as much.
 
The poor can get a cheap TV at Wal-Mart! Wow!
 
So Rush---lets’ go back. Suppose the great Limbaugh was talking to the people of 1776. They may not have had dishwashers or televisions, but they didn’t know what they were missing now did they? Let’s say they had radios and Rush was calling them all whiners because they were complaining too much. Why, the people in the Stone Age never had it so good! Suck it up, Boston!
 
They were being taxed, their tea was taxed, their papers were taxed, and it was pretty hard to have money to do much of anything else. Much like today, only we have it worse in comparison to their taxes.
 
On top of that, they had a King overseas who was telling them pretty much…buckle up, shut up, and pay the tax, you ungrateful whiners…
 
And talk about whiners. George Washington was one of the biggest. So were John Adams, Sam Adams, Thomas Paine, and Thomas Jefferson. The Declaration of Independence is one big whine session.
 
Well, so we don’t work as hard as they did, right Rush? Tell that to the man who’s holding down three service jobs because he lost his manufacturing job overseas.
 
We work until May for the government. And this mess is not “cyclic.” Even John McCain has told us those jobs are never coming back.
 
The shout from our great conservative leaders has been…basically daily denial.
 
While all the great conservative minds keep reminding us that capitalism and the great companies like GM, Wal-Mart are just great, they don’t have to shop there. It wasn’t Saks Fifth Avenue that wiped out the Middle Class.
 
Free market means competition, right? More choice---right? Tell me. Have Americans got more choices now? That’s the trouble with capitalism, it needs referees. It’s pretty simple really. Our founders knew that power corrupts almost all “elites” so they tried to put in a three-party system. But there is no system to check and balance big companies that have money to influence big politicians, and that’s where America has finally come, and the Marxists are loving every conservative blunder. There used to be anti-trust laws? What happened to them?
 
Actually, I tend to disagree with Rush. Rush telling us not to whine is just as offensive as Obama telling us what “we” will do.
 
I think we need more whiners not less. Before the purple people-eaters of a One World Government eats us all up.
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Recounting Kevin Spacey

Nobody’s Perfect: Kevin Spacey---when I say just his name, I picture Will Robertson stoking up a reefer filled with Manhattan Silver. (That’s white marijuana grown from the seeds of the marijuana flushed down New York Toilets, for those who do not dare care, like me.)
 
As an actor he has done some very notable work---almost a perfect career. Kevin likes to do movies to express his liberal beliefs. I believe Kevin really cares about America….but he has some major flaws, as does his new HBO movie, Recount.
 
In Recount, Kevin plays a frustrated lawyer (Ron Klein) who works for Al Gore during the 2000 Florida Presidential recount. Recount is all about the fact that the Democrats believe that Al Gore should have become President.
 
So why wait eight long years to come out with a movie about it?
 
Does the fact that the Democratic Party in Florida has purposely, once again, messed up everyone’s vote this year, mean anything? Is there any doubt that Hillary Clinton will use the 2000 mess that happened to Al Gore to support her reasoning for somehow getting into office? Florida---once again, disenfranchised.
 
And why bring this up now---on Memorial Day weekend? When everyone is stuck at home watching Stooges reruns due to the price of gas? How propitious!
 
 As Kermit the Frog once said, “There are no coincidences.”
 
Kevin’s flaw is not his acting, or his passion, or his proclivity for going bald. He is very much a progressive liberal, but he still wants a career, so when he was on Charlie Rose last week promoting the movie, he tried to make the case that Recount is really just all about the sad fact that we will never know who really won that election. Al Gore probably did win the election, Kevin admitted. And what a more wonderful world it would be right now if he had.
 
Poor Kevin…still tortured. Where’s a sixteen-year-old virgin when you need one?
 
In scene after scene, the rich Republicans lawyers had big expensive suits and big offices. The poor Democrat lawyers were crowded into public government offices, and having to get their own coffee. All I could think of while watching this drama was---don’t they realize that some of us out here in America were actually alive in 2000?
 
As I remember, the recount was thought by most every American to be a big joke, and the only one from either party that stood by the rule-of-law was Katherine Harris, a woman that drove them all mad. No matter how hard she tried to follow the law, someone was calling her a monster.
 
And boy, do they vilify her in this movie. They make her out to be some kind of moronic self-loving cowgirl idiot.
 
Remember how they made fun of her makeup? They still do in the movie. It’s actually quite amazing how Hollywood can take any insignificant fact, and make it look like Armageddon—Katherine Harris’s makeup was bound to end the nation as we know it.
 
Remember when that video of Tom Cruise jumping with happiness on a couch claiming monogamous love for his wife on Oprah put Hollywood’s gay lobby agenda and the liberal attack on the family unit into absolute horror? Tom almost lost his beloved box office popularity on that sin.
 
Yes, Hollywood is truly amazing. Recount actually shows that it was the Democrats that caused the problem in the first place. They messed up the ballots, the first recount, the second recount; the third recount…the whole mess was caused by them. And yet, it was still presented that it was only those rich Republicans who were corrupt.
 
Never underestimate good editing and good background music. Hollywood can sell you anything.
 
In the final scene at the Supreme Court, amazingly Gore’s lawyer made the point that when a voter made a mistake at the ballot box, it should be counted no matter what. All a voter has to do is show up. Let someone else write in whatever they like. God Bless America! Or is it, the Florida Republic of Zimbabwe?
 
In the end, they let Baker make a statement that our Founders system of checks and balances really did work, despite the corruption of both parties, and I agree.
 
So, if John McCain wins the next election…will “spacey” Kevin be recounting? All those brand new electronic voting machines are going to make it so much easier to cheat. No paper trail, just a flick of the old keyboard.
 
Kevin might not be happy to hear tht the word recount will no longer be an option.
 
And you thought you'd never long for another hanging chad....
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